Growing Up Was Hard For Me To Do!

• But, to Begin from Within, Please Forgive my Words, Sentences, Phrases and or Punctuations Along with Anything Else of what I'll Try to Write for the Best of Your Understanding, but I am not an Educated or Professional Writer by Profession, However, If or What you do Read – will Rather be Straight from My Heart of the Matter – Yet, Sometimes I Tend to be Long-Winded with my Sentences, but it's because there is a Lot to Explain without me Splitting them Up that would surely Abandon some of the facts as I Recollect them into Writing from Ancient Memory. – So, Thank You for your Understanding, But I will Try my Best – to Inspire your Interest – after all, the Truth Never Lies – to Attract the Intellect of the Wise. –

• Oh, and Most Importantly, keep in Mind that Who and What I Am Writing about, – GOD and HIS SON JESUS CHRIST – Never even Attended a Quote Unquote School of the Taught – as We've Known and Experienced it through to Whatever Our Succession is to our Academic Progression! – Whereas, even, Albert Einstein thought was a Waste of His Time in Learning what He Didn't Need To – just as it has been Chosen NOT to Be for Me either. – Look, for example, I'm not a Doctor, – So Why Do I Need a Doctor's Degree – and I'm not a Master – So why do I need a Masters Degree? – and I'm not a Bachelor – So why do I need a Bachelors Degree? etc. – If even if they are Free? – Here's a Thought, – Jesus Christ was Home Taught.

• The thing is, I've Learned How to Add and Subtract and Read and Write as much as I Needed to – In and Out of Grade School and Anything I've Learned with an A+ Beyond that – I've Never Needed and Long Forgotten as a Waste of my Time Added to my Clustered Mind – So, with the Exclusion of Academics, The Heart of the Matter – is of a Positive Mental Attitude through Firsth Hand Experience that's NOT Taught in a School of Academics, but it's the Map of the Best from all the Rest – of the Options Available – Through to the Road to Success. – Sure, Its Good to Have a Progression of a Well-Rounded Education – for Needed Professions, – So think what You want about me, but Personally, It's Meant Diddly Squat To Me, Because – I Educate the Educators – in the way GOD Grades Me – for my Work of Words that  are Now Reading – from my Heart, Mind and Soul – where I've got Control!

              And so the Addendum to my Factual Biographical Memoir

Continues Onward Through to the Following,

• You know, I’ve got Pictures of me from a Baby of about the Age of three that was taken with me and my mother. One was taken of me standing outside of a Church building in Downtown Rockford Illinois, But I don’t remember any of it – Except for me vaguely Standing on top of the high Chair being Dressed to specifically go with my Dad who I know without a Doubt Loved Me for being his child, because I Felt It – I remember my Dad holding my Tiny Little Hand as if He was Proud of me, while we were waiting outside of the Apartment Building where we Lived which was Downtown Rockford were all the Business Traffic was at that Time – to hop on a Bus that wanted to entertain me with as if it were a Roller Coaster Ride. – Even though I was Three – I Still Felt the Love that He had for me, – but that’s the only experience that I've Ever had of a Feeling like that – that I could remember From Anyone else as an Adult Thereafter in my Life! – It was Shortly thereafter that my Dad Died on Me. – I think my life would have been like on Normal Life of Caring Love – instead of the opposite – of what would be that I would Receive – of Feeling out of place Like an Unwanted Burden – That would follow through to the age of 15. – When I was sent to an All-Boy Farm School – called The Durand Boys Farm School in the Durand, Illinois – as I will get into the details further on.  

• Look, don’t get me Wrong, but I’m sure that my mother Loved me in her own way, but I don’t Remember it like I did with my Dad. – To Elaborate, So, Instead of Picking the Comfort of a Home – they, my mother and would be step dad – Chose to Live in a Downtown Tiny 2 Room Apartment – at their Convenience of being Close to Where Their Favorite Bars Were – two blocks away. – You see, I remember Two of them one was called the "Quality Inn Bar and Liquor Store" and the other The "It Bar and Liquor Store" where I had to set in the back for hours of Time without Anything to Entertain me – while they set at the bar Entertaining Themselves with their Family and Friends Laughing and Joking and Smoking – Until the Bar Closed. – I Remember that Awful Smell of the Cigarette Smoke Permeating all around me with nowhere to Go To Get Away From it, but that was part of my Ill-fated Fruitless Life that I had to Struggle with – without the Normalcy of a Full Size Puzzle with me Fitting into it. – 

• I don’t Remember my mother ever being mean to me, but I don’t remember a Mother’s Love Either. – I Know that after my Dad died – It must have affected her, because she began Visiting the Local Taverns and or Bars up and down State Street – where She Met the guy she would Marry of, Sam Rotella, who was Meaner than Shit and Definitely made me Feel like He didn’t Need or Want any Kid Hanging Around Him – because it was my Mother’s Choice to pick Alcohol over me – of which Ultimately Turned Her Into an Irresponsible Alcoholic Drunk and put me into Harm’s Way – Again to Emphasize and Reiterate You’ve got to Realize that I was still around the same age of when my Dad Died of about Three Years Old when all of this Began to Happened to me, Unfortunately. – So she must’ve gotten married shortly after to this Creep – without any Thought to the Welfare of what would be a Very Unhappy Life for Any Kid to be At The Mercy of what was to Fear and be the Feeling of a Loveless, Cruel, Unwanted Un-belonging Insignificant Kid of the Lesser Importance – that would and did Forever Characterize my Personality Throughout the rest of My Life – of which Led to a Competitive Attitude that became a Complex of the Survival of the Fittest – to Self-Confidently be the Best from all the Rest of my would-be Competitive Peers. – And Yes, I know that this was a very Long Sentence, but I also Know and Realize that it Came from a Definitive Long-Hard-Fought-Story too – that Also Ended Up Being With and In the “Glory” of a Hard Earned Self-Respect that Ended Up with a Proven Success – Therefore, I can hold my head up high when I say, Hallelujah, because the Truth went Marching On – to where I did Belong – without the Rest of the Puzzle!

• That follow through to the 3 Times that I was hit and the one time that I ran into the hit the side of a car by the Busy Streets of the downtown Area of Rockford where all of the heavy Traffic was Concentrated of that period of time, – Because it was before all of the Outline Malls and Shopping centers wasn’t in Existence at that Period of Time. – I know that I have told some that I was under the Car each time, but that was what I was Told. So too Clear Up My Mind – I went over to the Library to Search the Archives to Find whatever I could on those Unlucky Yucky Battles of Survival and Only Found one and it was when I Ran Into the Side of a Moving Car and it Survived the ordeal, but it also Knocked Me Out Cold for a Bad Bout from Messing Around with the Wrong Opponent. – Indeed, It’s the only Picture I’ve got of my Mother holding me close that was in the Newspaper Article. – I Distinctly Remember the other Three Locations, but I couldn’t Find them in the Archives, – However, again, I was told that I was run over under the cars, – but I couldn’t verify them, because the Incidences Sort of Knocked Out My Memories Order at the Time. – However, I remember being in the emergency rooms being checked over in a couple of them. – Oh Well, No Matter It did Happened, but it’s Neither Here Nor There, because I Survived – To be Able to Tell and Write it to my Fittest.

• There are Two Other Occasions that are Unexplainable whereas I Survived – and I mean, Miracles. – The first time is when I was about 12 years old I was Climbing this great big Cliff in a Quarry of about 25 to 50 Feet Tall – and when I got to the top of it. – I Tried to Pull Myself Up on Loose Ground and it began to Let Loose to where I was Falling Backwards into a Pile of Large and Small Rocks and Boulders Below that would’ve without a doubt Killed my Stupid Ass – only to have this Appendage of a Limb about 2 to 3 Inches Around and at least 2 to 3 foot long – Protruding out of the Rocks that was Perfect for Chinning Up On. – But the thing is, why didn’t I Do and Use it in the first PLACE? – Because it was Perfectly in Plain Sight and Obvious? – Besides, I keep asking myself that – how in Heck did it Grow Out of the Rocks in the Second Place? – Again and Again and Again! – It was in the Perfect Location, and in plain sight for me to Chin Up on and Big Enough to Hold my Weight??? –

• The 2nd Time was when I was in this Car with Five Other Guys in it – Whereas the Driver was Showing Off Driving Recklessly at an Excessive Speed of at least 80 Miles an Hour – Approaching a Narrow Two-Lane Iron Bridge over a Creek by the name of the, (Trash Bridge) and from a Distance it look like the Taillights of another car that was heading in the same direction over the Bridge – No Problem, – only to find that it blocked Off Half of the Bridge right directly in Front of it? – Well, as for myself, – I Closed My Eyes and Stuck My Head Between My Legs to Kiss My Ass Goodbye, but it wasn’t my time, because all six of us thought that there was no way that we could have Avoided that Non-Survivable Crash, but – Miraculously, that Driver Somehow Swerved Around it, Swerving from Side to Side on that Bridge. – Well, I Know that We All haven’t a Clue or Idea of How He Did It, but He Did! – and we all Survived by Staying Alive to Tell it over and over – Well, I know that Everyone of us Remembers that Fright Night that We’ll Never Ever be able to Escape from our Memories like a Frightening Dream that Never Goes Away – Just as I’m Writing it from my own Memory. – These were Definitely Close Calls – that I Recall – Where the Trumpets Weren’t Sounding – Around the would be Death of my Surrounding.

• These are some of the Miracle Reasons – Why I have an Inborn Sensitive Faith in the Lord Above – that looked after me with love to Where I’ve Cheated Death for at least Six Times that I Can Remember Alone. – Among many other Personal Reasons that I Can’t Ignore. – As in the Many-Many Success Stories I’ve had in Business with only a Ninth Grade Education – I said it before and I’ll say it again. – That nobody ever Defeated me – in the Competitive World of sales where I spent the Largest Portion of my Life in the Institutional Sales Profession – as a DSR “Disturber Service Rep” Servicing and Selling to Anywhere There was Food sold as in, Restaurants, Hotels, Hospitals and Coffee Shops etc. – where I Owned the Market – as Opposed to My Competitors and Peers – as Proven in the Past of the Many Credible Awards and Articles – while in the Business. – See, the Credits from The Media, and “Achievements”, – The Secret was Exposed by being Composed and Written in my, “Seven Steps Towards Achievement”, “The Acronym, PHONE” and “The Farmer and the Sale” to Teach Wannabe’s How It’s Done “Successfully”, – but even so, it still takes a Desirable-Humble-Heart to Comprehend it. – Of Which I Have Found is Mostly out of Reach and Next to Impossible to Teach If you don’t Wannabe – Well, I have Learned through Experience, so to Speak – that You can Lead a Horse to the Water Trough, but You Can’t Make it Drink – Let Alone Think.

• Look, at this Time of my Life – I don’t give a shit about what Anyone Thinks about me, but this Website is the most Educational Website that You’ll ever Find of its Kind in the Whole World – that Tells the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth to the Success of What is Right over Wrong Thinking Then Doing, – Because – I have No Doubt Whatsoever. – That I’m on the Right Track and Side – to what is Right over Wrong Thinking to be True – to You and or – No-Matter Who. – So, I Don’t Care Who You Are – Near or Far – or – where you’re from – Smart or Dumb – Or if – You’re Rich or Poor – and or the Education Your Profession – All it takes is an Open Mind Controlled by an Open Heart – To Get It, – Because Your Mind is only as Good – as what Your Heart Tells and or Teaches You. – And a Miss Spelled Word or Misunderstood Sentence – like You or the Bible, – Professional Lecturer, Professor and or even my Idol, such as Albert Einstein. – Can or would’ve have Been Able to Change It – in Any Way, Shape or Form.

• Again, getting back to my Childhood Days – All I Remember is the Feeling of being a Burden, Unwanted and Out of Place to where I Didn’t Belong, – Again, with a man that my Mother Married without any thought to how Ongoing Mean and Cruel that He would be to me. – I Lived with Total Fear of being around this Mean Guy with my Mother’s Lack of Concern of Allowing it to Happen, because Their Main Love was for Alcohol and could do without me as an Interruption to His Corruption – of Throwing me Around while Slapping me Across my Face to the Point of Doing Damage to my Hearing. – Oh, and I might add that He was an Ex-Golden Glove Stocky Boxer in His Younger Years – So He was Experienced at it.

• Again, as to Elaborate, – The thing that is still Embedded in the Memory Bank of my wounded Mind is that I Lived in this Two Room Apartment with a Teeny Tiny kitchen where a man about 6 foot tall could stretch out his arms and touch both sides of the wall with no room for a kitchen table. – The main room was big enough for Regular Sized Bed, a Standup Radio that didn’t work, a Small Closet, a Dresser and a Smelly Couch, but I Slept on the Hard Floor at the Foot of Their Bed and Listened to Their Snoring among other things. – I was Left Alone and Hungry Just about Every Night of the Week – while they were Still Entertaining themselves until the bars closed at 1 AM. – I Remember Distinctly Watching out the Window in Fear of that Mean Guy and my Mother Come Staggering down the Street to go to Bed Totally Inebriated Entering Staggering through the Door Smashed. – I also remember one night where my Mother was Yelling at Him in Pain to Stop Twisting Her Arm, because He was Hurting Her, but what was I did do – as a Kid about an Eighth of His Size? – He was just a Sadistic Guy who didn’t care about Who He Hurt – Well, at least, he didn’t with Me and or my Mother – I don’t know if he did with others?

• Consider all of the modern day entertainment features that modern-day kids have to entertain themselves with Today – Like Space Age HDTV and Music, YouTube, Internet, Email, Faxing, Websites, iPhones, Texting, Telephones, Toys and Video Games to match the Times etc. etc. etc. well, – I didn’t have any One of these things to keep my mind off of being – all Alone in the Dark, Scared, Bored and Lonely – what I am Describing is not an Exaggeration! – It Defines Your Personality as you’re growing up – as you Can’t thus Don’t Forget Your Past – Well, it Defined me to be the Best at whatever I Chose To Do with Determination – Among the “Quote Unquote” So-Called Societies Best.

• To Continue, Now, – Think of yourself as a child of 3 to 15 years old Growing up without Sisters or Brothers, Mothers or Fathers, and or Grandparents – not even a Dog or Cat. – That cares about being Around You – Let alone of Not being Loved.

• To Reiterate, – I remember that my Mother’s Main “Look Forward to” – was to Wait for Sam, her husband to get off of work to Meet Him at their Favorite Bar, The Quality Liquor Store on State Street. – Again, if I Wasn’t in the Bar with them. – I was then Left Alone without being Fed – to the point of where I Felt Like I was Stealing Potatoes that I Knew that wasn’t being Counted – So I Learned how to Fry them in the way – they are of my Favorite Food to Eat – Right to this very Day.

• This was my Life Until I got myself into enough Trouble on Purpose to Get Myself Sent to the Durand Boys Farm School where I Began to Feel like a Person of Worth – that wasn’t a Reform School, it was like a school of this letter where they teach you self-respect, leadership through discipline. – All I can say is that, It was the Best thing that could have ever Happened to me at that time when I Really Needed Help. – There were lots of kids even the Homeless and Kids without Parents that I could have fun with – they even had a Wreck Room with Pool Tables, Ping-Pong Tables, etc. – Three Home Cooked Meals a day, and I mean they were Home Cooked Tasty Meals. – They had Three Dorms, According to Age Categories – One was called the Tigers between the ages of 12 to 15 and the other was for the Pee-wee under 12 and the Bears of 16 to 18, of which was my Dorm. – Every Morning the Horn with the Sound of Reveille to Get Up at Six AM – we would then make up our Bunks Military Style – Go to the Shower – then Go to the Dining Room and to the Dining Room to be Fed an Incredible Home Cooked Breakfast. – Next we would go to the On Grounds School, – until the Incredible Afternoon Lunch – Go back to School – Until School was let out, – Then go to our Everyday Chores – Until the Super Duper was served with another Home Cooked Delicious Meal – after that – we would Head for the Rec Room for Fun – Till Around 10 – Then Head to our Dorm Rooms to go to Sleep – Only to Wake Up to Repeat Another Day of the Same. – The most and best thing that happened to me – was of the Caring Staff Members, Teachers and the Principal that Motivated me to be Successful in my thinking after Leaving the Durand Boys School – to be On My Own – this is when the principal of the school – Took Me Off Grounds in the Middle of My Class and Told Me that He, my Teacher and all of the Staff Members Were On My Side and Rooting For Me – to be what they thought I’d be able to handle my Ups and Downs Successfully after Leaving The Boys Farm School. – And to their influence on me – I did do it on my own without the Influence and Negativity of Society.

• You’ve got to realize where I Came from – I mean, the Predicament I was in. – It was like Coming from Hell into Heaven – I mean that they really Cared about me Individually at the Boys Farm School. – Whereas – Nobody did on the Outside. – I was just a kid that no one wanted the Responsibility to Take Care of me in a Loving way. – Instead I was Reluctantly being Mistreated by Moving from one Place to the other with a Harmful Negative Attitude. – This was Off and on Around the same period of time after my mother married the Guy. – And All the Time I Knew that I Wasn’t Being Wanted by Anyone of Responsibility. – Psychologically, I was so Ashamed and Embarrassed of my then Situation. – To the point of where it has Prepared my Personality to What It Is for Today. – Again, I Did It – My Way – Successfully!

• I remember going to School Embarrassed of not having what all the other kids had from Having Caring Parents – like being in Kindergarten Without a Naptime Blanket, Lunch Bucket and Just simply knowing that they had good parents to go to a real home with their own bedroom, three meals a day on a real table, and in-house bathroom of their own and all of the Natural Pleasures that they took for Granted – that I was Lacking. – Especially the Caring of Love Behind It All. – All I remember is that I wished that I had what they did, but instead I was worried about going Home to Nothing but to the Humiliation of Fear.

• As a Consequence, – I was having a Problem with my Learning Ability in my First Grade to where I Flunked Twice. – So to make a long story short – with the agreement from my Teacher and Mother – they put me into a Specialized School for the Hard of Learning, in other words, in short, for Dumb – However, within a Month or so, my Teacher and the Swimming Instructor Told the Powers to be that I Didn’t Belong There. – I Remember the Swimming Instructor took me by my Arm and Leg and Threw me into the Water where I Splashed around like I was Drowning – Then the Swimming Instructor told me to reach out and pull my arms back and kick my legs on top of the water – of which I ended up Swimming Within a Minute or Two – Swimming like a Fish Having Fun, but Funny enough – at that Same Time – I Realized that I could Stand Up with My Head Above the Water. – In knowing that, I Learned how to Swim Underwater too – from one End to the other – as the Pool really wasn’t that Large.

• Well, they sent in a specialist of the sort to test me for my IQ and found that it was above Average – according to the Questions and Certain Tests they were Giving me – that I Thought Was Fun – like large charts that showed different images on them and asking me what I saw in them etc. etc. – Then they Checked my Eyes and Ears and all of a Sudden when she was checking my Ears with Her Ear Scope – She Got Really Mad and Upset and had me go to my Room again. – Well, I thought that I did Something Terribly Wrong, but come to Find Out that I was having a Hard Time Hearing, because of the Damage Done to My Ears that She Could Plainly See. – So, within about a Week – I was Suddenly Yanked out from that School and Put Back Into a Public School – where I Set Directly in Front of where the Teacher was Teaching Me – from where I use to set way in the back corner of the Former Rooms where I Flunked the Two years in First Grade. – And the Reason Why I picked the Corner of those Rooms – Was because I Brought the Complex of My Embarrassment of Being with the Rest of the Room – So I Figured that Nobody Could See Me Unless they Turned Their Heads Around to look at me from the Front of the Room – the only side that I had to Worry about was from the Right Side. – So the Two Problems that I had was a Psychological Complex – And a Hard of Hearing Problem due to the Damage Done to my Ears from being Slapped so Much – and setting too far away in the back of the room from Hearing the Teacher. – This is the reason why that specialist of some sort who tested got pissed off, because of those two Reasons. – Well, I bypassed the two grades that I flunked and they put me into the right Grade to where I should have been – and guess what? – With a little Tutoring from my Teacher – to Catch Up. – I got Straight A’s, Ever Since – Very Seldom did I get B’s – The only thing that was Negative From there on – Was to work on my Handwriting Skills of which I never did, but the Funny thing was – was that the Rest of the Class Had to See from the Back of my Head – Instead of my Face – where the Teacher had Control. – You know, Albert Einstein had the Same Problem as a Slow Learner with the Ignorance of His Teachers and Parents – Lack of Understanding His Problem – that was Actually Theirs. – And He Was a Little Bit Smarter than me.

• Oh Well, the Fact is, when it all Boils Down To It, – My Mother was an Irresponsible Drunk who picked this guy without any thought of taking care of me in a responsible way – I Was Cheated Out of the Love that I never Learned How to give back in an Inherent Way to Confidently be Able to Fit Into the Puzzle of Society Let Alone a Family of my Own? I’ve Always had the Hide Behind My Feelings.

• Lastly, what’s really Fearful for me is if I should Lose the Other Half of my Life that I’ve Lived with my Wife, Judy of 40 Years, – Whereas, if She Should Die Before Me, – I would Not Only be Left All Alone – like I was at the age of three, – But Heartbrokenly Lonely – with absolutely No One else in my life that would Give a Shit about what Happens to Me with A Broken Heart. – As I get to the Latter Years of my life – Again, I’ll be at the Mercy of an Uncaring world – Again as in my Childhood Days at a Bargain Price into one of those State Retirement Institutions for the Helpless – without Anyone Looking out for Me Again. – In Making Sure That I’m Not Being Mistreated by the Institution. – NO!, This Has Been my Worst Fear that I Hope that my Guardian Angel will be there for me, because, with the exception of my wife – I’ve never been able to Count On any other Caring Reliable Person in my Life that I could Trust to Always Be There For Me. – This is One of the Reason’s Why I Know that I’ve Had A Guardian Angel Looking Out For Me All Along, But It Would be Kind of Nice to Talk with a Genuinely Caring Person without Feeling Like a Burden to Drop in Every Know and Then – to See How I Am.

• Unexpectedly, not even my Daughter who told me on Father’s Day that I wasn’t a Good Dad? – this is how Fucked Up I must have Been in Her Life from Learning how to Fit Into a Puzzled World Where I’ve Never Felt Like I’ve Belonged and this is why “Growing Up Was Hard For Me To Do” from Being “Out of the Ordinarily Different” – than the within of the “Quote Unquote” Familiarity of the Ordinary – whatever that is. – As the Alpha and Omega of my Life. – I know that I’ve been a Total Failure as the Missing Piece of that Puzzle of Trouble and Strife – In My Life. – Well. My Wife has Described Me As An Introvert – Well, I Guese She Should Know After 40 Years! – But I must say that it has been Her Large Family of Six Siblings with their kids – who has Stuck by and Accepted Me for Being Me – that I have Felt Close to. – Thank Goodness that they don’t know me for being a Puzzled fuck-up. – But they are my age and or older – so they won’t be around either – Besides, they don’t live anywhere around me and we no longer have our Get Together Family Reunions – We’ve had every year.

• You know, I had this Dream when I was about 10 years old. It was about me Moving in Outer Space at my own Speed – I could Stop and Go in Mid Air – as I Would – with a Do or Dare – Just like I can in an Automobile of – Right Now – on the Ground – And in Flight. – I could Travel at the Speed of Light – or Float in Air like a Kite – To whatever I wanted to see or Where-ever I wanted to go – Fast or Slow – in other words, No Matter how Far the Planet or Star, I could be there in a Blink my Eye – withIn the Dream I Dream – I remember taking in the Sights from the Lights Emitting from the Stars and Planets. All Around me – in Every Position. – In the Front to the Back, Upside Down, from Side to Side or Flat on my Back – it was All the Same.

• There was this one Particular Fascinating Whitish Glow that Caught my Eyes Attention – to where I had to go and see what it was. – Well, the instant I got there – I Floated Into an Indescribable Heavenly like Fog – and the Further In I Got – the Clearer It Got – to where I could Clearly See to what was to be – Inside the Dome. – of what Appeared to be like a Planet of Humanlike Beings Roaming All Around Inside of it. – There were also what appeared to be Homes with Separate Rooms Attached to one another Somewhat like Apartments – Just like we have here on our Planet Earth’s Homes and Apartments. – Well, they were Walking Around in them like we do with kids. – I remember seeing them opening their doors into a Pathway Walkway about the size of one of our Two-Lane Streets that Led to the Center of what appeared to be a Never Ending Mall Full of Businesses and Stores – on Each Side of the Center about the size of one of our 12 Lane Freeways – with these Human Like Beings Walking Around All Over The Place – Going In and out of Stores and or Business – just like we do in one of our Large Malls about the size of the Minneapolis Great American’s Mall – only Theirs was Constructed as Their Whole Planet Under a Clear See Through Dome.

• I even saw some of them setting down reading as if they were in one of our Borders Bookstores. – There were No Vehicles of any sort – not even Bicycles. – They were just walking around and talking to one another. – So when I got close enough to touch the outside of the dome Looking In, – they could See Me Too. – To where they Led me in through an Opening – where they Welcomed me in with open arms. – I remember that they were very pleasant to be around, because they were just as Fascinated to be Around me – as I was with them. – We were able to Converse with one another in a Language that we could Understand. – The thing Was, Was that Everything was in the Fascinating Whitish Glow that had no Color, – including the beings – but was Distinguishable through the Prism of an Outline, Including Their Body and Facial Features – It was only I Who Had Any Color to Me in the whole place, but that Didn’t Make Any Difference To Them, – because that was why they were Fascinated with me Too – so they Liked me for the Way I Looked. – In fact, when they Welcomed Me in – they Followed me around and Treated me as though I was Some Sort of a Superstar Celebrity. – Well, According to Earth Time – I was there for about a Month or So – to where I was ready to Leave and Go Back to where I felt like I belonged Into My Place in Outer Space again – to Find Another Fascination to Visit, but they Begged me to Stay – and that is when I woke up from that Unforgettable Dream that stuck with me from the first time I had it. – But, crazy as it is, I had that same Dream Again a Couple of Years Ago In the Alpha and Omega of the Latter Years of my Life. – With all things Considered, So, what am I to Think about that? – Isn’t that kind of Strangely Puzzling? – Look, I’ve always had Fantastic Flying’s Dreams in my Sleep that I didn’t want to Wake Up From, because they Always Seemed So Real to Me.

And So – It Seems as Though

“I Dream a Dream”

Can You Dig What I Mean?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7zZuBQs0bE

Poetically, I Guess You Could say that there Can Be NO Place – When you’re Alienated into Feeling like you’ve been from Outer Space in a Comparable Parallel to the Reality of What Is. It has been Utterly Hopeless for me to Disguise of what I’ve Not been able to Hide from My Inside Out – even though I’ve been Kind of Blind Enlight of what I’ve Been in – Plain Sight – To me, that’s an Incomplete Piece of that Puzzle – that doesn’t Fit into the Hole of the Whole.

Look,  Shame  isn’t  the

Blame for the Way You Think, –

But for How You Think if Not from the

Heart  that  is  True – that is – If   You Choose   It  To.

I Did what I Couldn’t All for the Reason

of Feeling Good About Myself

As a Person of Worth.

Designed, Composed and Written as the Truth

About Me, Donald Lee, Johnson