Mental complex

Personally, due to childhood trauma of hardship ... Link - Biographical Memoir ... I’ve always had this mental complex of expressing myself in front of people, especially with large groups. A thing I’ve had to live with my whole life with embarrassment … Link, … Complex (psychology)...

“Outwardly”, as a result, there are very few people (if any) who have ever known me personally and or socially for who I am “inwardly” meaning, from my Heart of which explains the reason why I’ve lived my entire life in a comfort zone as a solitary man of self-confinement that is rightfully thought of as disrespect by close family memebers due to my own doings, but as far as people goes by personal experience, I've never had any luck with people, so I stay away from them as chosen friends. Besides, with my attitude as it is, I'm not an easy guy to get to know and like. Any how, if my shutouts meant the same, I'd be great for baseball, because I know that I've outdone Walter Johnson of the Washington Senators career record with 110 shutouts ... Oh well, As to the Heart of this old fart, I'm afraid that it Twill be my epitaph into the wind at the end of my game into ashes to ashes and dust to dust ... and never the train shall meet ... if you must. 

If I had to describe myself in a nut shell, I would have to say that I am more like a recluse of an author of a novel with a writer’s block. And yes, understandably, people perceive me for how I appear and judge me accordingly with less expression of confidence than what I really am outside of my comfort zone. But As the saying goes, you can’t judge a book by its cover and if you do, you’ve lost the human part of the Heart that depicts the true-to-life memoirs storyline (in this case) it is of mine to define.

Inwardly, as my journey began to the Heart of my self-respect, I became and still am every bit of “The master of my ship” and “The professor of leadership” who have set the sails to wherever it never fails me into the direction it goes in according to where and what I have chosen. Therefore, I am and always will be “The master of my ship”, because as “won” by my Heart, I am who I‘ve always been “as a winner” not a loser and I’ve NEVER had to prove it “in front of people”. Other than my complex of disaster that I've, yet learned to master. Mastered successes are of, 

 Lesson’s earned by Lessons Learned

through practical experience from the Heart of

Determination without Limitation, the master of equation.

The “ Heart” of this matter was by the later,

Composed, Written and Designed

By, Don L. Johnson

As  singed.